Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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