Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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