Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
