Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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