Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
