Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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