remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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