She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
