butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
