just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I need to align my fucking chakras
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
