my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
