is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
