Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
