where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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