You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Drunk is not a location!
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
