East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
there is puke in my bra ... again
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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