If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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