too bad you live with your parents still
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
