I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
