Heybabeimwearingurpanties
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
