he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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