I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
