he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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