I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
