i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
high people should be assigned attendants
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
