I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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