On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
