well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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