Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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