..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
