I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
We had sex on a dog bed..
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
