Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
