Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
