What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Fuck appropriateness.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
