I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
