Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
