dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
God I need to hump something, right now.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
