Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Small penises have feelings too.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
