So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
