Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
