Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
