they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
