hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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