Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
