I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
