I wanna bring you to show and tell
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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