I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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