I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
