I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
