i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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