careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
