i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
