If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
barbara walters just said penis...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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