talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
