Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
