If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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