No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Non-Jews are for practice
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Randomize
