The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
