Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm at about main and main street
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
