You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
