direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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