I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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