No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
