I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
