You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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