Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight http://tfl.nu/3mek
  Replies (17) Good night (3064) Bad night (562)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen http://tfl.nu/rvwe
  Replies (42) Good night (1002) Bad night (5280)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game http://tfl.nu/hrfj
  Replies (20) Good night (4433) Bad night (988)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow. http://tfl.nu/e26q
  Replies (11) Good night (4168) Bad night (961)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner. http://tfl.nu/lvfr
  Replies (13) Good night (1914) Bad night (4216)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!

  (1-310): View more from California

  you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee! (1-310): you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right? http://tfl.nu/vyk6
  Replies (30) Good night (11766) Bad night (1208)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted http://tfl.nu/ojyr
  Replies (6) Good night (3473) Bad night (892)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to. http://tfl.nu/acu8
  Replies (7) Good night (2024) Bad night (943)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab... http://tfl.nu/8q0e
  Replies (5) Good night (2279) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (705): I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now." http://tfl.nu/lznt
  Replies (3) Good night (1754) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least http://tfl.nu/6jj4
  Replies (5) Good night (1088) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top. http://tfl.nu/zeve
  Replies (11) Good night (807) Bad night (306)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever

  (281): View more from Texas

  I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever (281): I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE http://tfl.nu/gxon
  Replies (4) Good night (845) Bad night (221)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Not be drunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation (978): You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing (781): Not be drunk http://tfl.nu/0wwo
  Replies (1) Good night (519) Bad night (171)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?" http://tfl.nu/cv6m
  Replies (6) Good night (580) Bad night (191)

Randomize