Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(860): View more from Connecticut

yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her

(860): View more from Connecticut

but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"

(860): View more from Connecticut

but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies

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(860): yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her (860): but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!" (860): but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies http://tfl.nu/084i

Replies (42) Good night (2802) Bad night (1154)
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(248): View more from Michigan

apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference

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(248): apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference http://tfl.nu/k6zm

Replies (33) Good night (6802) Bad night (1399)
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(775): View more from Nevada

Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.

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(775): Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket. http://tfl.nu/kdwl

Replies (11) Good night (3732) Bad night (1310)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?

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(860): do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours? http://tfl.nu/hqbo

Replies (46) Good night (2874) Bad night (8424)
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(631): View more from New York

we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,

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(631): we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars, http://tfl.nu/j4u2

Replies (14) Good night (5201) Bad night (907)
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(802): View more from Vermont

Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.

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(802): Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle. http://tfl.nu/jhbj

Replies (7) Good night (3096) Bad night (1603)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.

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(630): I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME. http://tfl.nu/dxkz

Replies (20) Good night (1253) Bad night (4084)
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(862): View more from New Jersey

It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.

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(862): It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy. http://tfl.nu/1k8y

Replies (7) Good night (5314) Bad night (954)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.

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(617): Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened. http://tfl.nu/s0za

Replies (12) Good night (988) Bad night (3494)
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(925): View more from California

Did we literally take a cab across the street

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(925): Did we literally take a cab across the street http://tfl.nu/hdnq

Replies (10) Good night (3549) Bad night (1212)
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(705): View more from Ontario

Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.

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(705): Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/v5hf

Replies (41) Good night (8409) Bad night (1468)
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(702): View more from Nevada

She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us

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(702): She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us http://tfl.nu/hsu0

Replies (6) Good night (1479) Bad night (576)
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(408): View more from California

In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals

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(408): In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals http://tfl.nu/45rk

Replies (8) Good night (807) Bad night (519)
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(613): View more from Ontario

I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.

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(613): I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that. http://tfl.nu/ketf

Replies (10) Good night (2618) Bad night (561)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."

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(717): You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina." http://tfl.nu/43rj

Replies (4) Good night (520) Bad night (206)

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