4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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