Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  oh good, I think they're gone

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  the painters?

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  my herpes

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  (860): oh good, I think they're gone (215): the painters? (860): my herpes http://tfl.nu/ob9r
  Replies (7) Good night (773) Bad night (1426)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.

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  (610): The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem. http://tfl.nu/6hmf
  Replies (34) Good night (1922) Bad night (741)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...

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  (646): My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play... http://tfl.nu/zidw
  Replies (17) Good night (1465) Bad night (4142)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.

  (770): View more from Georgia

  WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!

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  (678): I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama. (770): WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?! http://tfl.nu/mh7d
  Replies (49) Good night (1365) Bad night (7083)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I threw up into my coffee this morning.

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  (218): I threw up into my coffee this morning. http://tfl.nu/fytz
  Replies (10) Good night (844) Bad night (4999)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.

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  (859): you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'. http://tfl.nu/aatj
  Replies (44) Good night (1601) Bad night (6163)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.

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  (914): So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great. http://tfl.nu/w708
  Replies (8) Good night (2768) Bad night (867)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Oh Jesus.

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  (219): Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa (708): Oh Jesus. http://tfl.nu/7sg2
  Replies (9) Good night (2493) Bad night (898)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god

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  (406): We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god http://tfl.nu/kj7l
  Replies (2) Good night (1294) Bad night (1328)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me

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  (614): you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me http://tfl.nu/5ifz
  Replies (4) Good night (590) Bad night (345)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.

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  (503): And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence. http://tfl.nu/m69e
  Replies (3) Good night (527) Bad night (304)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  all my money is vodka money

  (1-734): View more from Michigan

  I have never read a truer sentence.

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  (734): all my money is vodka money (1-734): I have never read a truer sentence. http://tfl.nu/947v
  Replies (0) Good night (785) Bad night (256)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.

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  (775): Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car. http://tfl.nu/cx3f
  Replies (9) Good night (624) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.

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  (262): Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle. http://tfl.nu/lpt1
  Replies (3) Good night (509) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this

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  (602): My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this http://tfl.nu/kojj
  Replies (1) Good night (474) Bad night (229)

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